Ｃｏｒｎｅｒ

Every time, when I got confused about life, fortunately, some of you will come out to push me to the right place.
Life ain't just letting it go anywhere but sometime should learn to be controlled.
That's always easier say than do. Thanks to you, I, or we can make it and defeat it whatever it was.

Lately,
It's nothing upset or even not anything bothering, but just kinda calm. I know, I really know, It's... shouldn't be a bad thing and feeling.
But I really really think it's not me, not my personality.I used to be creating, planning, inviting and just doing some things.
However, I made an attempt to lose of that kind of role in my relationship and to turn the passing "active" into brand-new "passive".
I think I wanna improve one thing that I deserve that kinds of friendships and maybe a sense of survival.
Disappointedly, the answer is NO. I felt a little bit sorry toward those odds and ends 'cuz we're not the same.
That's not a good experiment to a man with confusing to truth of reality but I did.
Selfish must me part of humanity, I got deeply convinced now.
No, it can't totally illustrate what I feel. It still includes laziness, greed, rudeness and childish.
I should make something to me by myself.
I wanna create a different way with other conservative lifestyle here.
I wanna recover my ability to dream and map out what I want.
I wanna break and get rid of locks in mind into free.
I wanna be I am.

I decide to be several selfish 'cuz exploring is based on what I think and what I feel.
Wanna apologize to part of you guys, 'cuz I hide behind you without leaving anything.
Sometimes, I'll feel myself couldn't live without crowds and sometimes feel not.
And, you are the one surprising me until ur sudden appearing.
You stir my amaze that I am not lonely.

I can't believe you as usual and open heart widely in the reason of the past.
Don't put much deep kind heart easily to any one rushing into my life.
I don't want to break out my balance and be still seeking despite breaking is sometimes a balance, I know.
Still, sorry, really really sorry, but still love you.
Maybe, after finding for a period of time, I'll need you all again and certify your importance.
A real friend, kinda selfish, will wait for me whatever it goes.